A Grand National Tale…

Good morning all,

The second part of my Aintree tales, this time from National day itself.

I'll be at Southwell later, doing the Punters Preview with Steven Powell at around 4pm, so if you're going feel free to come and listen to be waffle on for fiftenn minutes. Hopefully there will be a winner or two, and I'm tipping one of those up on the Punt today.

For those of you that like your old black-and-while World War II films, you’ll know The Longest Day is very much a classic in the genre, telling the story, as it does, of the Normandy invasion once Eisenhower gave them the go ahead to do so. A star-studded cast (John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, Sean Connery to name but a few) it was nominated for Best Picture in 1963 but missed out, picking up awards for its special effects and cinematography instead.

I’m thinking of doing a remake of The Longest Day, showing what a bookmaker’s workman has to go through on Grand National Day. Granted, it won’t have a star-studded cast, as much as Martyn Of Leicester would like to think otherwise, and the special effects won’t be up to much, but I reckon I’d get a few takers for it.

The day begins at 7am for me, with a shower and a tea before breakfast in the pub next door at 7.15am. Now, I like breakfast, it’s my favourite meal of the day, but I know that this will probably be the last time I eat until this evening, bar grabbing a bag of crisps mid-afternoon. So, despite the early hour, it’s a proper fill-up. I nick an apple off the buffet for later too.

We need to be on track and in position even earlier today. 10am is today’s pick time so after navigating the brambles for one last time, we push the gear in around 9.15. There’s already a bit of a buzz once we get in, with all the books filling in their Grand National boards that will be on show once we get going. There’s a bit of a buzz about the place, despite the fact we know today will be exhausting.

Now, unlike the rest, I’m actually off for an hour to the press room, as today is the AGM for the horseracing writers. I will not bore you with the details of the meeting but I can tell you I managed to snaffle a bacon roll and a tea, both of which were very welcome.

The crowd start to come in at 11. Nobody wants a bet yet, they want to find their spot for the day and have a drink. However, by twelve, it begins. The boards start to come into their own with the passing trade and I take my first bet on the National. (£10 ew Delta Work, for the record).

People are having their photos taken with someone. He’s clearly famous – possibly a footballer, as he looks quite athletic – but I’ve no clue who it is. I’m so old and out of touch.

The problem with today, early on at least, is the tedium, with the best past of four hours to kill. Between our two pitches we’ve got six workers, so at least we can take it in turns to man the joint when it isn’t busy and allow the other to stretch their legs. I go for a walk down to the West Tip marquee, where the really low numbers on the pick are, and have a chat with a couple of the books. They tell me business has been down since the last time they were here, which falls in line with what we’re experiencing too.

It’s finally getting busier. Whilst most of the ladies at Liverpool seem to know how that two-fifty each way is a fiver, most still haven’t any idea what they are backing and after queueing for five minutes, manage to stand in front of the joint for another five whilst they make their selections. This is a tricky situation to navigate. Do you ask them to hurry it up a bit, or try and work around them? I usually try and make light of the situation (“there’s tortoises moving quicker than you are, my dear”) and that seems to work.

We’re away and betting for the first. The plastic cups are already starting to mount up around the joint and I hate that. I try and clean them up whenever I get the chance, and bin them. I cannot have an untidy work environment. We won’t take many large bets today – the big money tends to fly around on the Thursday and Friday – but the volume of bets will be what counts.

Dean Morris, a little further down from me, reports one guy asking “do you take coke? Not coke, card. Do you take card bets?” I shall let you decide what he was really after.

Party Business is a popular winner of the first (that and Serious Charges were backed almost to the exclusion of the rest) and they have money in their pockets, money they use to play up on Three Stripe Life and the payout queue is a long one. However, business is nowhere near as good as Friday, which is a major surprise. Neither joint is flat out yet. Busy, yes, but not flat out busy.

Can we get Edwardstone beat? One lady takes the safe option and has a fiver each way at 4-7, despite my protestations that she really ought to back it win-only. When it wings in second behind Gentleman De Mee, I get both barrels. “See, if I’d backed that to win I’d have lost all my money.” I cannot argue with this statement and give her her five pounds and fifty-seven pence. “Is that it?” she replies. I’m not sure she’s got this worked out, yet.

Onto the fourth and I’ve got a couple, late fifties, early sixties, absolutely bladdered in front of the joint. They’re literally propping each other up. He’s trying to force a twenty into my hand, shouting “Flooring Porter!!” repeatedly at me. I tell him I’m not taking his money, he’s that far gone. He tries to give the money to his wife instead, but she can’t even remember what horse he’s just shouted at me. (“Which one was it? Which f**king one?”) I tell them I’m serving neither of them, which gets me a volley of abuse. Unlike the ladies that are merely indecisive, he’s a pain, and rather than go for the humour, I work around him. He soon gets the message, and vacates the premises.

I need the loo at this point, so whilst Sire Du Berlais is doing his thing, I try and find a toilet where I’m not queueing for half an hour. As ever, the men’s in the main hall has more women in it than men, which really annoys me – if men used the ladies, I’m pretty sure we’d find ourselves in front of the local beak in quick time – but there’s some portaloos around the back that aren’t packed out. Back to the joint, and the race before the National.

Sam Brown is actually not the greatest result – lots of Sam’s about, lots of Browns – but it would have been a lot worse if Shan Blue had won, the queue would have stretched back to Anfield. It does mean we get a clear run at the big one, and it’s basically a three-horse market.

Without doubt Delta Work is the most popular option. People seem to have forgiven him for stuffing Tiger Roll at Cheltenham and are piling on. Any Second Now is the next most popular and unsurprisingly Snow Leopardess is proving popular too. We lay every horse in the book, and anything but those three would be a result. Halfway round I’m thinking Santini might get the lot (I’ve had a small each-way bet) but even four-and-a-half miles isn’t far enough for him. Another lap and he’d definitely have won. The crowd get excited when Any Second Now looms up and takes it up two out but by the time Noble Yeats is back in front at the line the only cheers are coming from the bookmakers. Our biggest bet is £15ew on it. An amazing result.

And then something remarkable happens. Within ten minutes of the race finishing, the place is empty. Really, really empty. Noble Yeats winning has killed it. The concrete mound in front of us is now nothing but a sea of plastic cups, occasionally whipped up by the wind and blown towards us. I need the loo again (too much water) and as I walk through the ring, there’s the lovely sight of one young lass, who can’t stand, being held up by her mate as she doesn’t even bother trying to find a loo. Get me out of here…

The last is a waste of time, and worse, we have to wait an hour for it, which is surely one of the most ridiculous pieces of timing ever. Time to pack everything away, get brambled one last time, and get off the track in one piece. It’s gone seven when that happens, and with a two hour journey home to come. The Longest Day indeed.

On to Southwell. There are a couple of interesting ones in the handicap hurdle at 7.10. Goast Dancer is one, with Sandy Thomson bringing him a long way for his handicap debut and going up a mile in trip is definitely going to help his cause, and down the bottom Matchmaking is on a very good mark based on his old Flat form, and he showed much more last time. He too should appreciate a step up in trip, and whilst my plan is to split stakes on the pair, I just prefer the claims of Matchmaking of the two. The Baileys are struggling for a winner under rules but there's nothing wrong with their recent point-to-point form and it's surely a matter of time before they are off the cold list.

Good luck with all your bets today,

David.